In our last blog, I wrote about losing the self. I have subsequently wondered if it may be helpful in bipolar disorder. For background on what it means to lose self, click here: What does it mean to lose self?
There is little doubt that the self program can wreak havoc in bipolar disorder. Metabolically, we react with things in our environment, and also with things in our minds. The mind is able to dream up endless horrors to menace us. When our moods are up and down and we have a lot of anxiety and depression, we will tend to ruminate, which means to think about these things that threaten us, over and over again. We may even do it when we are asleep and hence have nightmares each night.
The things that threaten us, threaten the self, which is a memetic program that organizes our conscious experience, especially to help us anticipate and avoid threats. The self is often hypothetical, just as the threats it faces are hypothetical, anticipated. Those threats may never come to pass. And the more frightened, manic, or depressed we get, the more we dream up unlikely threats.
Can dissolving the self help us to avoid this suffering? I suggest we test it. Here are ways to dissolve the self:
1. Through flow activities, activities where you focus so fully, you are no longer aware of yourself, like sports and video games.
2. Through meditation.
3. Through outwardly getting rid of your reliance on reputation. That can mean moving to a job that doesn't require reputation, such as online website building, coding, or writing. Many online jobs only require you be able to do the job, from project to project.
4. Using the self program while recognizing it is an illusion.
Let's examine reputation.
How did reputation come to be? Well, here's a just-so history. In the past, we needed a way to predict how others might behave toward us. Might they beat us, or love us? This is probably way back before humans were humans. Gorillas appear to be able to recognize individuals and remember their habits. So this ability reached it's furthest evolution in humans with our ability to talk about reputation.
Reputation is a part of identity, which is a part of the self-program. Identity and reputation are social creations, and creations of the brain. We could for example, have no past reputation. No one talks about what they or other's did in the the past, no one keeps a tab. In our pre-history it could possibly have been that way, but we learned to use reputation->identity->self, because it is useful. It helps you predict how people will act based on how they acted in the past.
But our management of our own reputation is crazy-making. Can we use it to our advantage, but not to our detriment? Take the good without taking the bad. I think we can. Once we learn how to dissolve the self, eradicate reputation, then we can turn it on and off, use it when we like, and not use it when we don't want to.
The first step is to decrease our reliance on reputation inwardly. It must be done inwardly before it can be done outwardly. Inwardly, we can see the arbitrariness of how we create reputation. We look at what people have done in the past, and judge them based on that. That is an okay thing to do. However, we get crazy worrying about and trying to manage our reputation. We are fragile to criticism and full of shame about things we did as kids. Once we realize that this is just a pattern of thinking evolved over thousands of years, that we inherited but don't have to always use, then we realize that with ourselves, we don't have to judge. We are what we are.
After losing the baggage of reputation inwardly, we may try, if we can, to do it outwardly, in the world. Find a job that depends less on reputation. Don't go to award shows to be honored because if getting the award feels good, not getting it will hurt. Also, award shows are generally incredibly uncomfortable. So, kindly decline unless you do it not for praise, but for practical reasons of advancing in your career or other reasons. When you are called a bad name, or people say that you are stupid, or a whore, or ugly, don't defend yourself. If you get upset, let the emotions come and go, without giving them persistence by fighting them or rationalizing. Your past, your self, doesn't matter. You are a living, breathing being, right now, that's all that matters. So, don't think positive things about yourself, and you won't have to defend yourself when people suggest to the contrary. Also, don't think negative things about yourself. Then, the things people say cannot hurt you for long. You may have an immediate reaction, but you will stop that reaction from continuing. As long as you are alive, you are on your own side, no matter what you do and how your-self or other selves judge it.
Once you learn to use the self program for practical effect, while not believing it is the only way to think, then you will have the option of choosing when to be selved or not. You will not care about your reputation, but you will instead us it for practical purposes. However, you can not be actually offended by threats to your reputation. Eventually, that kind of grace builds trust in others. When they finally figure out that you have allowed them to think bad things about you, because you are not protecting the self, they will learn that asking you is the only way to get the truth about things, because if they don't ask, you are perfectly willing to allow them to believe that which is false about you.
In bipolar disorder, our reputation is sometimes in tatters. What we are saying is, stop caring about it on the inside. You may need to protect it for practical purposes, for making a living. But you don't care about people's assessment of your past self. You are a present person. Take care of you. Once you learn not to protect the self, you biological swings will no longer be triggered by selfish thinking. It may still be triggered by environment, temperature, and diet, but it will no longer be intensified by self-judgments.
Let me know that you think. Thanks for reading.
The Self Progam
There is little doubt that the self program can wreak havoc in bipolar disorder. Metabolically, we react with things in our environment, and also with things in our minds. The mind is able to dream up endless horrors to menace us. When our moods are up and down and we have a lot of anxiety and depression, we will tend to ruminate, which means to think about these things that threaten us, over and over again. We may even do it when we are asleep and hence have nightmares each night.
The things that threaten us, threaten the self, which is a memetic program that organizes our conscious experience, especially to help us anticipate and avoid threats. The self is often hypothetical, just as the threats it faces are hypothetical, anticipated. Those threats may never come to pass. And the more frightened, manic, or depressed we get, the more we dream up unlikely threats.
Getting Control of the Self
Can dissolving the self help us to avoid this suffering? I suggest we test it. Here are ways to dissolve the self:1. Through flow activities, activities where you focus so fully, you are no longer aware of yourself, like sports and video games.
2. Through meditation.
3. Through outwardly getting rid of your reliance on reputation. That can mean moving to a job that doesn't require reputation, such as online website building, coding, or writing. Many online jobs only require you be able to do the job, from project to project.
4. Using the self program while recognizing it is an illusion.
Let's examine reputation.
Reputation
Reputation can be especially difficult for those with bipolar disorder. We have episodes where we may do things way out of our usual character. We may become sexually promiscuous during mania, spend too much, do too many drugs, or hurt people's feelings.
The Birth of Reputation
How did reputation come to be? Well, here's a just-so history. In the past, we needed a way to predict how others might behave toward us. Might they beat us, or love us? This is probably way back before humans were humans. Gorillas appear to be able to recognize individuals and remember their habits. So this ability reached it's furthest evolution in humans with our ability to talk about reputation.Reputation is a part of identity, which is a part of the self-program. Identity and reputation are social creations, and creations of the brain. We could for example, have no past reputation. No one talks about what they or other's did in the the past, no one keeps a tab. In our pre-history it could possibly have been that way, but we learned to use reputation->identity->self, because it is useful. It helps you predict how people will act based on how they acted in the past.
But our management of our own reputation is crazy-making. Can we use it to our advantage, but not to our detriment? Take the good without taking the bad. I think we can. Once we learn how to dissolve the self, eradicate reputation, then we can turn it on and off, use it when we like, and not use it when we don't want to.
Decrease psychological reliance on reputation
The first step is to decrease our reliance on reputation inwardly. It must be done inwardly before it can be done outwardly. Inwardly, we can see the arbitrariness of how we create reputation. We look at what people have done in the past, and judge them based on that. That is an okay thing to do. However, we get crazy worrying about and trying to manage our reputation. We are fragile to criticism and full of shame about things we did as kids. Once we realize that this is just a pattern of thinking evolved over thousands of years, that we inherited but don't have to always use, then we realize that with ourselves, we don't have to judge. We are what we are.
Decrease reliance on reputation outwardly
After losing the baggage of reputation inwardly, we may try, if we can, to do it outwardly, in the world. Find a job that depends less on reputation. Don't go to award shows to be honored because if getting the award feels good, not getting it will hurt. Also, award shows are generally incredibly uncomfortable. So, kindly decline unless you do it not for praise, but for practical reasons of advancing in your career or other reasons. When you are called a bad name, or people say that you are stupid, or a whore, or ugly, don't defend yourself. If you get upset, let the emotions come and go, without giving them persistence by fighting them or rationalizing. Your past, your self, doesn't matter. You are a living, breathing being, right now, that's all that matters. So, don't think positive things about yourself, and you won't have to defend yourself when people suggest to the contrary. Also, don't think negative things about yourself. Then, the things people say cannot hurt you for long. You may have an immediate reaction, but you will stop that reaction from continuing. As long as you are alive, you are on your own side, no matter what you do and how your-self or other selves judge it.Conclusion
Once you learn to use the self program for practical effect, while not believing it is the only way to think, then you will have the option of choosing when to be selved or not. You will not care about your reputation, but you will instead us it for practical purposes. However, you can not be actually offended by threats to your reputation. Eventually, that kind of grace builds trust in others. When they finally figure out that you have allowed them to think bad things about you, because you are not protecting the self, they will learn that asking you is the only way to get the truth about things, because if they don't ask, you are perfectly willing to allow them to believe that which is false about you.
In bipolar disorder, our reputation is sometimes in tatters. What we are saying is, stop caring about it on the inside. You may need to protect it for practical purposes, for making a living. But you don't care about people's assessment of your past self. You are a present person. Take care of you. Once you learn not to protect the self, you biological swings will no longer be triggered by selfish thinking. It may still be triggered by environment, temperature, and diet, but it will no longer be intensified by self-judgments.
Let me know that you think. Thanks for reading.
Thank you,
Daryl Seldon, MS
Contact me at knowflow1@gmail.com to talk about any issue that affects your quality of life. Confidentiality is taken very seriously.
Add @darylseldon on Twitter.
Share on Facebook, friend Daryl Frank Seldon.
So, we have 3 goals:
1. Using self with the knowledge that it is an illusion.
2. Dissolving self through meditation and flow activities.
3. Losing identity by failing to protect reputation.
If you see someone acting with freedom, you can expect they either have no reputation or a bad reputation, so they have nothing to lose by acting as they please.
For Blogger users:
If you have enjoyed this blog, make it viral, here's how:
First, follow these instructions. Then make a new blog post and copy paste these full instructions (starting with 'for blogger users'), making sure the link is active.
1. Go to your blog page settings and select Email.
2. At the bottom select Go Email Posts to
3. Select up to 10 friends, family, or others you think will benefit from the message contained, and enter their emails here.
4. Go to your blog, make a new post, and post a link to this blog page. http://dysautobot.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-does-it-really-mean-to-lose-self.html
Make sure the link is active
5. Your contacts will receive your new post, linking to my blogsite and this therapeutic message will get to more and more people.
Add @darylseldon on Twitter.
Share on Facebook, friend Daryl Frank Seldon.
So, we have 3 goals:
1. Using self with the knowledge that it is an illusion.
2. Dissolving self through meditation and flow activities.
3. Losing identity by failing to protect reputation.
If you see someone acting with freedom, you can expect they either have no reputation or a bad reputation, so they have nothing to lose by acting as they please.
For Blogger users:
If you have enjoyed this blog, make it viral, here's how:
First, follow these instructions. Then make a new blog post and copy paste these full instructions (starting with 'for blogger users'), making sure the link is active.
1. Go to your blog page settings and select Email.
2. At the bottom select Go Email Posts to
3. Select up to 10 friends, family, or others you think will benefit from the message contained, and enter their emails here.
4. Go to your blog, make a new post, and post a link to this blog page. http://dysautobot.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-does-it-really-mean-to-lose-self.html
Make sure the link is active
5. Your contacts will receive your new post, linking to my blogsite and this therapeutic message will get to more and more people.
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